The Audacity of Dope

“I don’t play, no/
Sticky, like Play-Doh”

— Snoop Dogg, “It’s On Tonite”

“It’s like 4th of July, in between your thighs”
— Tank, “Celebration”

“Harlem World/Yeah, I’m a problem girl/
I’m just tryin’ to get a nut, but I’m not a squirrel”

— Party Arty, “Party Hard, Hustle Hard”

“Act like an activist, you know…active”
— Black Thought, “Web 20/20”

From the “bang like bangers/hang like hangers” school of MC’ing, one of our favorite rappers of all time takes an unfortunate dip in the WLotD pool.  Sorry ‘Riq.  Still gonna play this song on SNSS tonight though…

“Makin’ a sacrifice, no matter what the sh*t be costin’/
And while you coughin’, I be flossin’ like a f*ckin’ dolphin”

— Busta Rhymes, “Survival Hungry”

This record came on the iPod while in the gym today and I remembered laughing at this bar in high school.  I mean…dolphins are dope…and pretty damn cool in their every day lives…I’ll give you that…but flossin’?

Just take your pick of any line from this new “Miracles” record from the Insane Clown Posse.  These might be so wack, they’re actually dope.  I think I’d rather listen to ICP pontificate about how magnets work than hear Soulja Boy talk about twerkin’ something.  Modern day poetry, at its finest:

If magic is all we’ve ever known
Then it’s easy to miss what really goes on
But I’ve seen miracles in every way
And I see miracles everyday
Oceans spanning beyond my sight
And a million stars way above em at night
We don’t have to be high to look in the sky
And know that’s a miracle opened wide
Look at the mountains, trees, the seven seas
And everything chilling underwater, please
Hot lava, snow, rain and fog
Long neck giraffes, and pet cats and dogs
And I’ve seen eighty-five thousand people
All in one room, together as equals
Pure magic is the birth of my kids
I’ve seen sh*t that’ll shock your eyelids
The sun and the moon, and even Mars
The Milky Way and f*cking shooting stars
UFOs, a river flows
Plant a little seed and nature grows
Niagara falls and the pyramids
Everything you believed in as kids
F*cking rainbows after it rains
there’s enough miracles here to blow your brains
I fed a fish to a pelican at Frisco bay
It tried to eat my cell phone, he ran away
And music is magic, pure and clean
You can feel it and hear it but it can’t be seen

Music is all magic
(Are you a believer in miracles)
You can’t even hold it
(Do you notice and recognize miracles)
it’s just there in the air
(Are you a believer in miracles)
Pure motherf*cking magic Right?
This sh*t’ll blow your motherf*cking mind
(Do you notice and recognize miracles)

Music is a lot like love, it’s all a feeling
And it fills the room, from the floor to the ceiling
I see miracles all around me
Stop and look around, it’s all astounding
Water, fire, air and dirt
F*cking magnets, how do they work?
And I don’t wanna talk to a scientist
Y’all motherf*ckers lying, and getting me pissed
Solar eclipse, and vicious weather
Fifteen thousand Juggalos together
And I love my mom for giving me this
Time on this planet, taking nothing for granted
I seen a caterpillar turn into a butterfly
Miracles ain’t nothing to lie
Shaggy’s little boys look just like Shaggy
And my little boy looks just like daddy
Miracles each and every where you look
And nobody has to stay where they put
This world is yours for you to explore
there’s nothing but miracles beyond your door
The Dark Carnival is your invitation
To witness that without explanation
Take a look at this fine creation
And enjoy it better with appreciation
Crows, ghosts, the midnight coast
The wonders of the world, mysteries the most
Just open your mind, and it ain’t no way
To ignore the miracles of every day

(Are you a believer in miracles)
Magic everywhere in this b*tch
(Do you notice and recognize miracles)
it’s all around you, you don’t even know it
(Are you a believer in miracles) Sh*t’s crazy
(Do you notice and recognize miracles,
So many miracles, the magic miracles)

Are you a believer in miracles
Do you have time for the miracles
Do you notice and recognize miracles
So many miracles, the magic miracles
Are you a believer in miracles
Do you have time for the miracles
Do you notice and recognize miracles
So many miracles, the magic miracles
Are you a believer in miracles
Do you have time for the miracles
Do you notice and recognize miracles
So many miracles, the magic miracles
Are you a believer in miracles
Do you have time for the miracles
Do you notice and recognize miracles
So many miracles, the magic miracles

I can’t believe this is real.  This can’t be life.

“I use food stamps in the street yo/
Now I got a cool ranch like Doritos”

— Tony Yayo, “Obama”

(I wish Usher’s All-Star Game outfits were April Fool’s jokes too)

“Honey got a booty like pow, pow, pow/
Honey got some boobies like wow, oh, wow”

— Usher, “OMG”

What’s that you say?  A song titled “OMG” has wack lyrics?  No way.  Don’t believe it.

“I’m riding wit’ him like Obama, cause he don’t gimme drama/
And his bank account say comma, comma, comma”

— Trina, “Always”

ROFLstiltskin.

“She’s indecisive…she can’t decide”
— Sean Kingston, “Eenie Meenie”

Thanks for the help Sean, I was struggling with that.