The Audacity of Dope

Akon decided to raise the WLotD bar with this one and do an entire song full of…questionable…lyrics.  Here’s the first 20 seconds:

“I won’t take off your mp3 address, until you tell me yes/
That you received my text, now you got the sex/
I wanna mp3 me & you, I’m on your laptop/
Go ahead and download, baaaaaaby/
I wanna mp3 me & you, straight from my hard drive/
Into your software, gotta let you know I care”
–Akon, “MP3 Me & You”

Can’t we just kill this whole extended metaphor already?  Next did it first (“I want your PC, sit on my laptop”), and every incarnation since then has been embarrassingly bad.  Here’s the ‘Kon if you want to hear more of the hilarity:

Akon – “MP3 Me & You”

I can’t even make out all the words around today’s WLotD, but Snoop gets the prize for hawking McDonald’s mid-verse.

“Mo’ at it, mo’ padded/
I’m the Big Mac with 4 patties/
Special sauce, mo’ cheese…”
–Snoop Dogg, “Day Dreaming”

Today isn’t even a wack lyric, it’s just Ron Browz in general.  Now I’ve heard dude is mad cool, and so are his people, but seriously, all of his recent appearances make my ears bleed.  As a producer, he’s fine, though I’ve always thought his two ‘classics’, “Ether” and “Ebonics,” were carried by Nas and Big L, definitely not the beats.

However, all this off-key vocoder singing just needs to stop.  From “Pop Champagne” to “Arab Money” to the new Noreaga track, “Rotate,” WOW. Seriously, it’s awful.  People are really ok with this?

Dude makes T-Pain sound like Marvin.

A newcomer to WLotD, congrats?

“I don’t say much, I be lettin’ my cream talk/
Call me Jack and you can grind on my beanstalk”
–Roccett, “G-Move”

WLotD was gone for a few days, but as usual, Wayne brings it back.

“stop a n***a like a comma”
–Lil’ Wayne, “Stand Up”

So…momentarily?

Again, not a lyric today, but this is rather fitting for Halloween since I can’t imagine a quote scarier than this right now.  Toure recently asked Soulja Boy,

“What historical figure do you most hate?” He was stumped. I said, “Others have said Hitler, bin Laden, the slave masters…” He said, “Oh wait! Hold up! Shout out to the slave masters! Without them we’d still be in Africa.”

My jaw, at this point, was on the ground.”We wouldn’t be here,” he continued, having no idea how far in it he’d stepped, “to get this ice and tattoos.”

Wow.  Apparently Souja Boy is going as a moron tonight (and every other day of his life).

I saw this on a messageboard today and while it’s not exactly a lyric, Shyheim’s mixtape title is pretty unfortunate.

Philly freezer is the man, but…nah:

“Yes, I’m the sh*t, I am the real dookie”
–Freeway, “Rocket Ship Rap”

(hahahaha @ that dude on the left.  worst. bball extra. ever.)

“Bedroom time, boy, I make her Yale like the college”
–Bow Wow, “She’s My”

*cringe*

As with other WLotD winners that I actually enjoy listening to, I feel like I should preface this post by saying I dig Illa J.  It’s been sad to see how much hate dude is getting from damn near everyone – casual listeners, Dilla diehards, bloggers, fellow artists, etc..  Is he stepping into Dilla’s shoes right away?  No.  Does he have potential?  Yes.  Am I salty that he’s using his brother’s unreleased beats to help support his family?  Helllllllllll no.  Do your thing Illa.

I peeped the Yancey Boys album over the weekend and I really dug it.  The beats are clearly top notch, and they’re the exact kind of Dilla sound that I’ve always loved.  Illa’s rhymes actually remind me of some early SV stuff: laid back, somewhat rambling, and centered around everyday ish.  That said, we played this joint on Sound Session last night and this line was kinda painful:

“I see you outside, gettin’ in the club free/
Lookin’ lovely, as soon as I seen you, I wanted to f*ck thee”
–Illa J, “DFTF”

Ahhh, I just hate when people force a rhyme and it’s so obvious.  Anyway, this joint is still great.  Who knew Affion Crockett could rap for real?

Illa J ft. Affion Crockett – “DFTF”