The Audacity of Dope

(Pardon the language, but I never did get the chance to use one of my favorite pics of the year)

Alright, there are two things that are slightly bugging me right now, at least enough that I felt the urge to blog ’em.  Welcome to the rant.

Issue #1: The buzz around the net about the new Common album is off the charts.  Unfortunately, I’m seeing damn near nothing but negative reviews.  What album are y’all listening to?  You really wanted him to make a 3rd album in a row that sounded pretty much the same?  Eff y’all, Universal Mind Control is heat.  My dude Dru suggested I do some reviews every now and then, but working 2.5 jobs kinda kills that.  Here’s my track by track faux review:

1. “Universal Mind Control” – you’ve heard this.  Either you like it or you hate it.  If you’re fun, you like it, it’s your jam when you hear it in public, and you can’t let it finish without attempting some horrible popping and locking.  If you don’t like it, your Jansport might be too tight.
2. “Punch Drunk Love” – Dope.  Kanye + Skateboard + Com?  Say no more.  “Am I crazy”?
3. “Make My Day” – Love this record.  So bouncy, so melodic.  [Thugnificent] stop hatin’, get money [/Boondocks].
4. “Sex 4 Sugar” – Fair enough, swing and a miss.
5. “Announcement” – Nice ode to Biggie and P kills his verse.  Nobody at Geffen/Interscope will tell me why they pulled the video down, so I’ll have to ask Com on the 13th.  The animation was dope.
6. “Gladiator” – FLAMES.  Hard ass beat, crazy horn sample, classic Com battle rhymes.  Absolutely insane in concert too.  “Are you not entertained?”
7. “Changes” – Good positive joint inspired by the late stages of Barack’s candidacy.  Would fit right in on Be or Finding Forever.
8. “Inhale” – Smooth.  Crazy synth and percussion.  Ill record.
9. “What A World” – Com kills it with the old school flow and them Chester French boys add some Freddie Mercury-esque swag.  All that’s missing from the beat is Pharrell’s “sexy breath” style adlib in between the hook and verses.  Could easily be a Kenna song…and that’s a good thing.
10. “Everywhere” – Reminds me of the new Foreign Exchange record.  Great way to end it, but I would have let this one ride out for like 8 minutes and let the beat/melodies go crazy.

So look.  9/10 songs are good and one isn’t.  That’s 90%…that’s a A-.  You messageboarders, bloggers, and Debbie Downers in general need to calm down.  If you want to hear Resurrection again, go put in your CD.

*bangs gavel*

Issue #2: The political pundits (worth about as much as hip-hop pundits) are getting all worked up because Barack has been hiring people associated with both the Clinton and Bush administrations, and they’re wondering what happened to “change.”  First off, the people he’s picking are very qualified and are all excellent choices.  Secondly, these people are respected across party lines, which was a huge theme of Barack’s campaign.  When I worked for them, the official mantra was “respect, empower, include.”  You can’t change things for the better when you alienate half the people in the country.  This is the beginning of a new way of politics, perhaps not ‘post-partisan’, but moving towards that.  And it’s certainly a HUGE ‘change’ from Dubya’s (mis)management style.

Thirdly, Barack has been set up for these attacks since day one.  Regardless of what he does, people will try to criticize him because they are, rightly so, fed up with government.  However, let’s not forget how we got here and who was at the helm.  We’re at the lowest point in American history since the Great Depression.  Literally every day for the past 2 weeks I’ve heard of either personal friends losing their jobs or seen large business make massive cuts.  Finally, at the first of the month, CNN sent out the hilariously titled “breaking news” that we were in a recession since last December.  Thanks for the update fellas.

If Barack picked a team of brand new faces, he would be ridiculed for selecting unknown commodities when we’re in such dire straits.  When he picks a balanced and diverse group of accomplished and, gasp, intelligent appointees, people flip because they aren’t “change-y” enough.  Miss me with that, please.  Anyone want to let these people actually get in office for…I dunno…a week…before trying to tear them down?  Barack’s not going to be able to fix things completely in 4 full years and you already want him solving the world’s economic crisis 2 months before he’s sworn in?  Wow.  We really do live in an “instant gratification” culture.  Speaking of which…

*pops dinner in microwave*

Ok, I should wrap up this rant.  Before I do though, I need all you conservatives, particularly the bombastic, comically dimwitted talking heads on the “news” to do one thing.  Shut.  the hell.  up.

Really now, these people shouldn’t even be allowed to speak about issues.  You lost your rights when you voted for George Bush.  TWICE!  This is like getting driving erratically and crashing your car, only to tell the ambulance driver to be more careful as he’s taking you to the hospital.  No.  You can’t say anything right now.  Just sit in the back and let the adults try to fix the problems you created.

If your beliefs and policies have brought America to its knees, I refuse to sit there and let you talk about what ANYONE should be doing.  Do you let Shaq coach your free throw technique?  Do you let Soulja Boy help you with your bars?  Do you let Chris Webber handle your clock management down the stretch in a NCAA Championship game (still bitter)?  NO! So why listen to former Bush sycophants whine about what we should do to fix any of the myriad of problems they helped create.  Like George himself said:

Don’t get fooled.  These people have no ground to stand on.

And now back to your regularly scheduled blog…