Francis Coquelin’s brilliance and why you don’t like soccer

Posted in Sports, Videos on October 5th, 2011 by Hyphen

(don’t watch this yet!  read first, then watch…)

If you know me in real life, you know that as much as I live and breathe music, sports has always been far more important to me.  With my dad’s British upbringing, soccer logically became my first sport and growing up, I must say, I was pretty talented (and equally modest…or not).  As I got older and more immersed in our country’s sports culture, I was drawn to the major US sports and eventually basketball edged out soccer as my top choice. I put the cleats away, laced up the high tops, and ended up playing small college basketball down in Los Angeles.  Nothing glamorous, but it kept me busy and shoot, there aren’t THAT many people who can say they’ve made the NCAA tournament!  *cough* Division III though *cough*

After graduating, I returned to Seattle and while I’ve enjoyed playing in the Puget Sound Basketball League, I’ve had a lot more fun playing for a few soccer clubs up here.  Perhaps it’s a little sad, but the two games I play each week are often highlights that I look forward to when I’m bored with the monotony of my day job and music work.  It’s even at the point now where my basketball games are cool…but I’d rather be on the pitch.

Alongside my own playing, I’ve started following professional leagues around the globe, really buying in completely around the 2006 World Cup.  Not only does it provide the obvious entertainment, but I find something really important in maintaining a regular connection, albeit fairly superficial, to the rest of the world.  It’s sickeningly easy for Americans to forget that societies exist outside our borders (and are comfortably passing us by), so by following leagues in Europe, South America, and Asia, plus the international clubs from the rest of the world, I’m actually exposed to a good bit of culture and news I’d otherwise miss out on.  Plus, it provides a nice escape when the sports media (hi friendly employer!) and all my friends talk about the same stories.  Trust me, I’m up on all the happenings in basketball, football, and baseball, but watching/playing soccer allows me to follow stories that most people I interact with simply haven’t heard.

Naturally, this leads to the awkward existence of the US soccer fan.  There are more of us than ever before.  The MLS and US Men’s & Women’s teams are more popular than at any point in history.  We are a legitimate player in the soccer world, but admittedly, we are nowhere near the top.  Thanks to our size and economy (assuming we still have one in a few years), we have potential to join the top tier, but we have a long fight ahead.  Americans are generally either apathetic to the sport or they foster a strangely antagonistic, and not so subtle jingoistic, disdain for it.  There’s nothing that angers a non-soccer fan more than hearing how it’s the most popular sport in the world.

What does all this rambling have to do with the video posted above?  Well, Francis Coquelin’s excellent performance as a defensive midfielder for Arsenal in their recent loss to Tottenham epitomizes why the average US sports fan doesn’t really like soccer.

Watch the video above.  I’ll wait.

Done?

Ok, so what did you see?

6 minutes of “nothing special,” right?  No thumping headers, athletic bicycle kicks, or Bend It Like Beckham-esque free kicks.  Hell, you didn’t even get a goal!  Instead, just a great deal of industry, grit, ingenuity, vision, agility, strength, speed, finesse, and calmness that displayed almost everything you want from a player in that position on the pitch.  Granted, the youngster made a few poor touches and distributed some loose passes, but overall, it was the lone bright spot in what has become a shockingly poor season for Arsenal.  In all fairness, it was far from what a top defensive midfielder is capable of, but it still underscores my point.

If you can’t appreciate a performance like that, you’ll never truly love the sport.  If your eye can’t spot the subtle adjustments necessary for a positive first touch or the instinctive movement to create the right passing angle, you’re going to be awfully bored while you wait for the goals to come.  If you’ve been brainwashed by our highlight driven society, you’re missing out on the building blocks for those incredible moments in the Top 10 countdown.

I’ll even go one step further, and likely anger some of my soccer loving friends at the same time.  If you haven’t played the sport and tried to do what these guys make look effortless, you don’t fully understand the beauty of soccer.  Yeah, I know…that’s pretty self-righteous, but I feel it’s true.  Fans are quick to jeer when a free kick is ballooned in to the stands, but how many hours have you spent trying to hit the upper 90?  If that number is high, you have a better understanding of what the player has attempted.  Fact.  Trying to curl in kicks from FIFA doesn’t cut it.

I don’t expect this rant to convince any non-soccer fans to give the sport another try and in fact, it may have the opposite result.  That’s fine though.  I view soccer similarly to how I view hip-hop.  Either you’re in it and you live/love/breathe it, or you’re not.

You don’t have to be, but for those of us who are, seeing a young kid like Coquelin deliver such an impressive performance in his 2nd EPL start reminds us of an amateur MC stringing together a few bars brilliantly in the middle of a solid verse.  Not enough to blow you away but just enough where everyone in the room felt it at that moment…like “yeah…that part right there?…that was it.”

It can be whatever you want it to be.  Just don’t try to tell me what it is to me.

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2 polar opposites

Posted in Comedy, Music Videos, Random Ish, Videos on February 5th, 2009 by Hyphen

(audio NSFW)

but both are great.

Bale’s rant is so classic and even though that Kermit video of Johnny Cash’s version of “Hurt” is hella old, I just saw it for the first time a few days ago.  Saddest song ever + Kermit = awkwardness.

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Yo…calm DOWN.

Posted in Artists, News, Politics, Random Ish on December 3rd, 2008 by Hyphen

chill

(Pardon the language, but I never did get the chance to use one of my favorite pics of the year)

Alright, there are two things that are slightly bugging me right now, at least enough that I felt the urge to blog ’em.  Welcome to the rant.

Issue #1: The buzz around the net about the new Common album is off the charts.  Unfortunately, I’m seeing damn near nothing but negative reviews.  What album are y’all listening to?  You really wanted him to make a 3rd album in a row that sounded pretty much the same?  Eff y’all, Universal Mind Control is heat.  My dude Dru suggested I do some reviews every now and then, but working 2.5 jobs kinda kills that.  Here’s my track by track faux review:

  1. “Universal Mind Control” – you’ve heard this.  Either you like it or you hate it.  If you’re fun, you like it, it’s your jam when you hear it in public, and you can’t let it finish without attempting some horrible popping and locking.  If you don’t like it, your Jansport might be too tight.
  2. “Punch Drunk Love” – Dope.  Kanye + Skateboard + Com?  Say no more.  “Am I crazy”?
  3. “Make My Day” – Love this record.  So bouncy, so melodic.  [Thugnificent] stop hatin’, get money [/Boondocks].
  4. “Sex 4 Sugar” – Fair enough, swing and a miss.
  5. “Announcement” – Nice ode to Biggie and P kills his verse.  Nobody at Geffen/Interscope will tell me why they pulled the video down, so I’ll have to ask Com on the 13th.  The animation was dope.
  6. “Gladiator” – FLAMES.  Hard ass beat, crazy horn sample, classic Com battle rhymes.  Absolutely insane in concert too.  “Are you not entertained?”
  7. “Changes” – Good positive joint inspired by the late stages of Barack’s candidacy.  Would fit right in on Be or Finding Forever.
  8. “Inhale” – Smooth.  Crazy synth and percussion.  Ill record.
  9. “What A World” – Com kills it with the old school flow and them Chester French boys add some Freddie Mercury-esque swag.  All that’s missing from the beat is Pharrell’s “sexy breath” style adlib in between the hook and verses.  Could easily be a Kenna song…and that’s a good thing.
  10. “Everywhere” – Reminds me of the new Foreign Exchange record.  Great way to end it, but I would have let this one ride out for like 8 minutes and let the beat/melodies go crazy.

So look.  9/10 songs are good and one isn’t.  That’s 90%…that’s a A-.  You messageboarders, bloggers, and Debbie Downers in general need to calm down.  If you want to hear Resurrection again, go put in your CD.

*bangs gavel*

Issue #2: The political pundits (worth about as much as hip-hop pundits) are getting all worked up because Barack has been hiring people associated with both the Clinton and Bush administrations, and they’re wondering what happened to “change.”  First off, the people he’s picking are very qualified and are all excellent choices.  Secondly, these people are respected across party lines, which was a huge theme of Barack’s campaign.  When I worked for them, the official mantra was “respect, empower, include.”  You can’t change things for the better when you alienate half the people in the country.  This is the beginning of a new way of politics, perhaps not ‘post-partisan’, but moving towards that.  And it’s certainly a HUGE ‘change’ from Dubya’s (mis)management style.

Thirdly, Barack has been set up for these attacks since day one.  Regardless of what he does, people will try to criticize him because they are, rightly so, fed up with government.  However, let’s not forget how we got here and who was at the helm.  We’re at the lowest point in American history since the Great Depression.  Literally every day for the past 2 weeks I’ve heard of either personal friends losing their jobs or seen large business make massive cuts.  Finally, at the first of the month, CNN sent out the hilariously titled “breaking news” that we were in a recession since last December.  Thanks for the update fellas.

If Barack picked a team of brand new faces, he would be ridiculed for selecting unknown commodities when we’re in such dire straits.  When he picks a balanced and diverse group of accomplished and, gasp, intelligent appointees, people flip because they aren’t “change-y” enough.  Miss me with that, please.  Anyone want to let these people actually get in office for…I dunno…a week…before trying to tear them down?  Barack’s not going to be able to fix things completely in 4 full years and you already want him solving the world’s economic crisis 2 months before he’s sworn in?  Wow.  We really do live in an “instant gratification” culture.  Speaking of which…

*pops dinner in microwave*

Ok, I should wrap up this rant.  Before I do though, I need all you conservatives, particularly the bombastic, comically dimwitted talking heads on the “news” to do one thing.  Shut.  the hell.  up.

Really now, these people shouldn’t even be allowed to speak about issues.  You lost your rights when you voted for George Bush.  TWICE!  This is like getting driving erratically and crashing your car, only to tell the ambulance driver to be more careful as he’s taking you to the hospital.  No.  You can’t say anything right now.  Just sit in the back and let the adults try to fix the problems you created.

If your beliefs and policies have brought America to its knees, I refuse to sit there and let you talk about what ANYONE should be doing.  Do you let Shaq coach your free throw technique?  Do you let Soulja Boy help you with your bars?  Do you let Chris Webber handle your clock management down the stretch in a NCAA Championship game (still bitter)?  NO! So why listen to former Bush sycophants whine about what we should do to fix any of the myriad of problems they helped create.  Like George himself said:

Don’t get fooled.  These people have no ground to stand on.

And now back to your regularly scheduled blog…

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