The Audacity of Dope

Yeah, yeah, WLotD has been on vacation for a while, I know.  Honestly, when you work 2.5 jobs, I spend most of my free time trying to avoid wackness so it may be somewhat sparse from here on out.  That said, my jobs still have me listening to new music all the time and sure enough, wackness is inevitable:

“Her booty big enough to swallow up a g-string/
Hey, go on, put that ass on me like a bee sting”
–T.I., “Day Dreaming”

I heard that and had the same expression as Tip did above.

I checked out Freedom last weekend and you know it’s a sad day when I’m actually disappointed by an Akon album.  Like…I knew it wouldn’t be good, but wow.  It’s really that bad.  “I’m So Paid” is probably the best track, which is a bit scary.  There was one line on the album that stood out too:

“Flipping pages, now famous/
Thinking back, I ain’t seen you in ages/
Wishing I could make it less painless/
Brings me right back to the same as…”
–Akon, “Birthmark”

Wait a second.  “Less painless”?  So…more painful?

Grammar fail.

Hahahahah @ T-Pain, Akon, Diddy, and Mary J. Blige singing about how to make the world a better place.  You just knew something dumb was gonna be said:

“I’d turn every bullet into a Hershey’s Kiss and we could eat away our fears”
–Akon, “Change”

“The ice had her sick, let’s call that ‘floss-bite’/
Neck so froze that she coulda caught frostbite”
–Jim Jones, “Show Out (Remix)”

When you’re on a remix with Unk, Soulja Boy, Sean Kingston, and E-40, it’s tough to out-wack the competition.  Never underestimate Jimmy though.

Shug’s an OG, but:

“I’m servin’ hot lead, like I’m the gangster waiter”
–Big Shug, “Soundcheck”

Hmm.  Not cuttin’ it, sorry dude.

Akon decided to raise the WLotD bar with this one and do an entire song full of…questionable…lyrics.  Here’s the first 20 seconds:

“I won’t take off your mp3 address, until you tell me yes/
That you received my text, now you got the sex/
I wanna mp3 me & you, I’m on your laptop/
Go ahead and download, baaaaaaby/
I wanna mp3 me & you, straight from my hard drive/
Into your software, gotta let you know I care”
–Akon, “MP3 Me & You”

Can’t we just kill this whole extended metaphor already?  Next did it first (“I want your PC, sit on my laptop”), and every incarnation since then has been embarrassingly bad.  Here’s the ‘Kon if you want to hear more of the hilarity:

Akon – “MP3 Me & You”

I can’t even make out all the words around today’s WLotD, but Snoop gets the prize for hawking McDonald’s mid-verse.

“Mo’ at it, mo’ padded/
I’m the Big Mac with 4 patties/
Special sauce, mo’ cheese…”
–Snoop Dogg, “Day Dreaming”

Today isn’t even a wack lyric, it’s just Ron Browz in general.  Now I’ve heard dude is mad cool, and so are his people, but seriously, all of his recent appearances make my ears bleed.  As a producer, he’s fine, though I’ve always thought his two ‘classics’, “Ether” and “Ebonics,” were carried by Nas and Big L, definitely not the beats.

However, all this off-key vocoder singing just needs to stop.  From “Pop Champagne” to “Arab Money” to the new Noreaga track, “Rotate,” WOW. Seriously, it’s awful.  People are really ok with this?

Dude makes T-Pain sound like Marvin.

A newcomer to WLotD, congrats?

“I don’t say much, I be lettin’ my cream talk/
Call me Jack and you can grind on my beanstalk”
–Roccett, “G-Move”

WLotD was gone for a few days, but as usual, Wayne brings it back.

“stop a n***a like a comma”
–Lil’ Wayne, “Stand Up”

So…momentarily?