The Audacity of Dope

Well, The Carter III was finally released today and every person with awful taste has run up on me calling it a classic (even Diddy felt the need to proclaim greatness). More people than ever are buying into this “greatest rapper alive” nonsense, so I figured I would use Weezy for today’s WLotD. He’s definitely the G.O.A.T. in that category, hands down. There’s about 8 wack lyrics in the first song alone, but this is the one I’m rolling with for today:

“Abracadabra, I’m up like Viagra”
–Lil’ Wayne, “3 Peat”

Wow.

It also gives me an excuse to post this article on Roger Clemens and his penchant for Viagra.  Ahh, how the mighty have fallen hahah.

(was it commonplace to have a shirtless dude line you up back then?)

Man, just like T3’s unfortunate bar last week, this pains me to do. This time we’re dealing with a legend, but even Big Daddy Kane isn’t immune to the WLotD. It’s [Hov] so mean & vicious [/Hov]

“Better bring witcha ya fire extinguisher/Listen, I love static, and I’m ready to cling to ya”
–Big Daddy Kane, “Don’t Touch Me (Throw Da Water On ‘Em) (Remix)”

And like I’ve mentioned before, one wack lyric doesn’t mean the song is bad. This remix to Busta’s single is one of the hottest joints out…even the gremlin kinda kills it.

(big in Japan)

See, this pains me. I love Slum Village, pause, and not just in a “J Dilla Changed My Life” t-shirt wearing, never heard of them before he died kind of way. Nah, I’m talking about wearing out the dusty cassette tape of Fan-tas-tic, Vol. 1 and then the classic “official” debut, Fantastic, Vol. 2. Sure, there have always been some ehhhhh lyrics here and there in SV releases, but these days, T3 is doing the best writing of his career and Elzhi might be the best rapper in the game…at least bar for bar.

So it hurts that when I was driving home from The Roots & Erykah Badu show last night (more on that in the days to come), I was bumping Elzhi’s ridiculously dope Euro Pass mixtape and heard:

“You never cease to surprise maay/So I, had to go like a worker on a Friday”
–T3 (of Slum Village), “Save Ya”

Well, it’s Friday so I suppose it fits. Sorry T. That song is still an instant classic and y’all make great music, but WLotD can’t play favorites. Gotta call ’em like I see ’em.

(Kanye & Consequence trying to feign interest)

Today’s wack lyric is simply:

Anything that DJ Khaled has ever screamed over his tracks, especially his annoying catch phrases and his gratuitous use of the n-word.

“Watch my booty shake like a fat lady’s belly”
–Missy Elliott, “Bootylicious (Remix)”

uhh…ugh.

Wayne’s the G.O.A.T. of this WLotD ish. This one reminds me of his epic “I’m so high, I could eat a star” line…let’s chill with the celestial references, eh Weezy?

“Man, I got summer hatin’ on me cause I’m hotter than the sun”
–Lil’ Wayne, “Mr. Carter”

For the record, I like this song and the Nappy Roots. Plus, I applaud them for making a good, positive single. But you know the drill:

“Hairline fresh, new cologne on/Feelin’ so good, changed the color to my phone”
Big V (of Nappy Roots), “Good Day”

I was with him for a second…seems like a fresh haircut & some new cologne might make you feel like you’re having a good day…but then because you’re “feelin so good,” it’s time to change the color to your phone?  Unless he means cop a new phone, I’m just picturing someone having a great day and thinking…”you know what? I’ma change my Sidekick bumpers!”  Aw naw, hell naw indeed.

This one’s a little bit of a throwback.

“And I think I have the key to her secret garden/When I see her, I used to want to beg her pardon”
–Puff Daddy, “Senorita”

I still love this track though. No Way Out is greatness.

A wise man once said, “if I don’t like it, I don’t like it, that don’t mean that I’m hating.”

I swear I’m not a “hater,” there’s just an incredible amount of wackness out there these days, particularly in hip-hop.  Back in college, I got tired of people blindly singing along to whatever they heard on the air or at parties, so I decided to start calling out horrible lyrics.  “Wack Lyric of the Day” was born, though I should mention that at the time, I also tossed in a “Dope Lyric” and a “Dope Song” too.

Now, I’ve reincarnated WLotD.  However, these days, times are tougher.  The environment’s in peril, there’s a worldwide food crisis, gas prices are through the roof, our economy is hemmoraging, and some people actually think Lil’ Wayne is the best rapper alive.  So rather than bring back all the daily categories, you only get the Wack Lyric.  Perhaps in happier times we can shine light on some dopeness, but for now, there’s too much idiocy running rampant in these songs.

Oh, and just in case people get all sensitive, having a wack lyric doesn’t mean you’re a wack rapper.  Sometimes I’ll call out rappers I really dig, if they spit something dumb.  In 2008, wackness knows no boundaries…

Wack Lyric of the Day, 5-29-08:

“Still G’s up, it won’t ease up/It’s cool…n****s hated on Jesus”
–Maino, “Hi Haters”

Sigh.  I don’t think it was really “hating” per se, Maino.